Iam a female feminist !

It is that time of the month again. Menstrual time.

I am a virgin, and another month has passed. Another egg has been released, another cycle completed. 

My body continues to function as nature intended, while society seems to measure my womanhood against a different set of expectations.

Society wants me to believe that I am still a virgin because I have been rejected by men. 

It assumes that my relationship status must be the consequence of someone else's decision—that I remained single because nobody chose me.

Perhaps, in its eyes, I am a failure because I have not conceived, married, or fulfilled the conventional role assigned to a woman.

But my lived reality tells a very different story.

Over the past twenty years, I may have rejected more than twenty potential partners. Yet, in that same period, I have felt genuinely attracted to only four men.

There is a greater difference between being incapable of finding a partner and refusing to enter a relationship that does not feel right.

My story is not necessarily one of rejection. 

My story is a story of selectivity, autonomy, attraction, and the freedom to decide what I want from my own life.

Yes iam  a Bitch....But only to my self.

Perhaps this is what society finds difficult to understand: 

A woman can be single without being unwanted. 

She can be a virgin without being undesirable.

She can remain childless without being a failure. 

And she can experience desire without feeling obligated to act upon it.

Sometimes, I wonder whether society needs to label me a failure because that label makes its next step easier. If I am considered unsuccessful, insecure, or incomplete, then someone can step in to rescue me by finding me a partner. 

My life becomes a problem to be solved, 
My independence becomes a deficiency to be corrected, and 
My choices become evidence of something supposedly wrong with me.

But what if I do not need rescuing?

What if I am not waiting for someone to complete me?

What if i feel that iam already complete from within and all that i need is someone who is a perfect match with my inner self.

What if my life is not an unfinished story simply because it does not follow the conventional plot of marriage, motherhood, and family?

And so, during this time of the month, as my body quietly reminds me of its natural rhythms, I allow myself to relax.

The fun part of the story is that the society wants to arrange a man who could help me become successful by impregnating me....That according to society is success.

I could never imagine allowing a man to impregnate me if I could not first experience a genuine connection with him in a way that feels deeply intimate to me, example to experience him in my throat.  I regard that experience as a form of divine love, something that arise from authentic love rather than social expectations.

Another menstrual cycle has passed. 

Another month of my life has unfolded.

If I cannot find a man with whom I can experience the intimacy I consider sacred, I am willing to remain a virgin rather than compromise on what feels true to me.

Perhaps the price of refusing to fit into society’s expectations has been higher than I ever imagined. Yet, despite the job opportunities lost, mentorship lost, coaching and career upliftment that i lost and the judgments endured....

I currently have a freelance opportunity with Apple AI Labs through a consulting firm, rather than as a direct employee. The assignment involves writing marketing stories, with the potential to earn up to ₹7 lakh INR per month. I’m waiting for the outcomes of the other interviews I’ve attended before making my final decision, and I expect to accept the offer by the end of this week.

I am still here—not as a failed woman, not as a rejected female partner, and not as a potential mother whose life is on hold.

I am simply a woman, living my life on my own terms.

Yes, I am a single woman, and I am struggling hard. Society seems willing to accept me, but only if I agree to its conditions and conform to its expectations. The society wants me to fit in.

But iam not going to give up ! I want to belong.

Someday someone from the society will accept me without asking me to change and twist who iam !