Sometimes opportunities seem to come with an unspoken condition: that a woman's success should reflect a man's influence, generosity, or power rather than stand on its own. Recognition appears more comfortable when a woman is seen as an extension of a man's status than when she is recognized as an independent individual.
That is why Down Girl - The Logic of Misogyny resonated with me.
It also offers one possible explanation for why some men may hesitate to offer opportunities to women who are strongly independent. When a woman insists on being recognized for her own merit rather than attributing her success to a man's influence, mentorship, or status, her independence may not fit traditional expectations about power and recognition.
My understanding of Down Girl is that misogyny does not necessarily require overt acts, It can also operate through a sense of entitlement.
In some contexts, a woman may be expected to admire a man, validate his status, or make him feel entitled to her attention or affection. The issue is not only about sexual access; it is about the expectation that a woman's value should reinforce a man's sense of importance.
What concerns me most is not competition between men. It is when a woman is treated as a trophy or as a symbol of a man's success rather than as an individual in her own right.
Women like me, who believe that our accomplishments should stand on their own merit and not be attributed to any man's influence, may find it especially difficult to gain opportunity in such environments.
According to Manne, patriarchal societies often expect women
to provide certain "goods" to men, such as:
- Care
and emotional labour
- Sexual
availability (within socially accepted norms)
- Admiration and validation
- Deference
or compliance
At least one positive thing has come out of this experience. I will no longer have to deal with women whose own insecurities or fears lead them to stereotype me.
Iam sure i can take myself across the river!
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