For the past three months, I've been on physiotherapy for a shoulder sprain that kept me away from swimming. This week, with my doctor's permission, I finally return to the pool.
At the same time, stress disrupted my menstrual cycle, and I experienced two periods in June. My gynecologist has prescribed medication to help regulate it.
She also reminded me that I could still conceive and suggested that I focus on finding a partner.
She didn't know that I had already made my choice.
Years ago, I chose not to marry.
Very recently - I also chose not to become a mother.
Not because I believe marriage or motherhood lack meaning, but because I believe they are meaningful only when they are chosen freely with love and never out of fear or conformity.
If conformity is the price, I would rather remain single and child-free.
That is my choice.
Now comes my favourite part.
Society has been trying very hard to convince me that I am somehow a "failure."
Why?
Because I am unmarried.
Because I am a virgin.
Because I am not a Mother.
Apparently, my marital status was enough to cancel out 18+ years of work, education, travel, leadership, surviving on my own after my father's death, protecting a 200-year-old family legacy... and even surviving physiotherapy and 2 menstrual cycles this month.
Quite an efficient scoring system.
According to Society - Sree Pillai is a Failure because she could not find a partner, because she is a Virgin, because she is not a Mother.
Sometimes, I feel that the current system struggles to accept women whose life choices fall outside the conventional path.
As an unmarried woman, I have often felt that my confidence, independence, and unconventional choices make some people uncomfortable.
Let's take another example.
I am an artist.
To me, Bharatanatyam represents Goddess Saraswati.
Art.
Discipline.
Knowledge.
Devotion.
But somehow...
Someone always manages to laugh and say....she is thinking about marriage and motherhood.
The fun part is - That someone is herself a Mother...
Are they seeing their younger self in me !
My Dear Lakshmi Devi (The Mothers) Iam not a reflection of your younger self !
Now comes the plot twist :
The moment I mention that I find a man attractive...
Someone else will inevitably post a photograph of a mango. ðŸ¥ðŸ˜‚
It's as if the message is:
"Poor thing... she's unmarried... she's a virgin... she must still be waiting for marriage and motherhood."
It can sometimes feel as though an unmarried woman must be diminished so that the conventional path appears to be the only measure of success.
I don't believe a woman's worth should depend on whether she has been to a wedding altar or a labour room.
Marriage is a role.
Motherhood is a role.
Neither should be used to rank women.
A truly inclusive society celebrates every woman for her character, courage, and contribution—not for whether she followed a particular life script.
No.
After living independently for 18 years...
After building a career...
After buying a home, a car....
After travelling around the world including Hiroshima...
After protecting my family's legacy...
After making peace with my choices...
I'm not waiting.
I'm simply living.
Perhaps society has become so accustomed to defining women through marriage and motherhood that we've forgotten something much older.
Durga existed before motherhood.
Lakshmi existed before motherhood.
Saraswati existed before motherhood.
The second innings of my career may or may not surpass the success of my first. Finding an employer who truly values diversity of thought and offers equal opportunity has not been easy.
But I haven't lost hope.
I still believe that my different perspective is a strength, not a limitation.
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