The system must change.

So let’s begin with a simple question. What is a routine?

Kerala-style egg curry. 

Cooking heals me !

I was someone who truly disliked cooking. But Life taught me how routines can be changed effortlessly. When I moved to Singapore in early 2010, I entered the kitchen out of sheer necessity.

I burned my hands. I cried. Atleast i could eat vegetarian in Singapore.

But everything changed when I moved to Japan.
That shift completely transformed my relationship with food— in ways I never expected.

My routine changed and my habits also changed.

I came from a home where non-vegetarian food was never cooked.
And suddenly, in Japan, I found myself eating chicken, pork, beef, octopus, fish, tuna, crab—almost everything.

Life taught me something essential:

Change your routine when life calls you to evolve, just like how i started cooking in Singapore.

Change your habits when life calls you to evolve, just like how i started eating beef in Japan.

I studied in a Christian school, where I sang songs for Jesus, not Vishnu. I adapted  to a new culture when the environment expanded.

But dignity? That is not something any woman should ever have to adapt.

Dignity is not a habit.

Dignity is not a routine.

Dignity is not a culture.
Dignity is not even a Mindset.

When a system treats a woman’s dignity like a habit or a routine, it reduces something fundamental, and non-negotiable into something adjustable, bendable, and modifiable.

In 2017, I was drawn to Man A, who was never my reporting manager—but when a shift placed Man B above me in 2018, it came with an expectation that my personal choices should realign with the hierarchy, as if my dignity and boundaries were transferable.

Dignity is where the real diversity begins. 

I rejected the job because i was unwilling to change my personal choices along with my career.

I was thrown out of the system on the grounds that iam unwilling to learn new skills.

I was disobedient and i was punished for my disobedience.

Then came the “superman and superwoman” narrative:
She rejected the job because she doesn’t want to work hard—she just wants love and a baby for money.

Have you seen the Bollywood movie Pink?
It mirrors a truth many of us live with: men quietly lowering a woman’s boundaries to fit her into a system that was never built for her.
Where dignity is treated like a habit you can adjust, a routine you can bend.

And in the middle of all that, here I stand—a single, unmarried woman a virgin who has guarded her own purity and choices, not because society demanded it, but because I chose it.

Watch the movie—sometimes cinema becomes the mirror that helps a man evolve and step out of a patriarchal mindset.

I see no difference between each and every one you from the 2018 system and man in the box ?

Let’s call it what it really is:
It is not related to a limitation in her mindset.
It is systemic misconduct.
It is the normalization of unethical behaviour dressed up as ambition, growth mindset or progress.

At its core, it is about reducing a woman’s dignity to a habit or a routine—
so men can demand that she “change” it.

My dignity stands far above the values of that environment. An environment where people treat desire as currency, and see others as tools for meeting their own wants.

So I say this without trembling. 
The system must change.
Not the woman.
Not her values.
Not her dignity.

True diversity begins at a much deeper level — in the fundamental value called dignity which cannot be changed at all.

It reminds us that inaction is also a decision, and that staying where we are is, in itself, a choice

And society must now ask itself:
Are we truly adaptable enough, evolved enough, to accept  diversity  —  with dignity?

I can live without a job until I find a system that embraces diversity with dignity.
But without dignity, I’m nothing more than a living body without life inside.

Instead i use the time to sharpen my cooking skills - I dont like eating outside ; hence i must improve my cooking for a healthy mind  ; a healthy body and a healthy soul.

The magic of cooking. Life’s circumstances slowly transformed me—from someone who hated cooking into someone who now finds comfort, beauty, and even healing in cooking.

It wasn’t a choice at first…but over time, it became a part of my heart.

Kerala Egg Curry with a Punjabi Phulka ?
Now the Magic Happens....

To fit me into the 2018 environment you must have to change the system and not me.
After you change the system i will come back !

Success in my career should lead to success in my personal life ; It cant lead to success in his personal life.

I’ve outgrown that environment—the dirt, the filth, and the way they treated my dignity like a negotiable instrument. In walking away from all of that, I finally discovered myself.

Thank you all for being a part of my Journey.