The Spinster !

Took some time off today to pamper myself… 

Yes, I am a spinster, and yes, I am loving myself more fiercely than ever.

Job? Gone.
Home loan + personal loan? Pending EMI's...

Lost 3 Kgs weight. Viral Infection due to swimming in winter ; switched to winter classical dance for fitness. 

Interviews? Stuck in the classic Indian series format — 2nd round, 3rd round, year end break.
Startups? Asking me to work for equity that may or may not mature....

I’m dressing up for myself — for a little self-love — because I want to feel good in my own skin.

Dress up for self-love in the most vulnerable period of my life.

Meanwhile, age is adding extra spice, while my menstruation cycle is smooth like a well-maintained railway track — Fertility rate is declining with age,  Just finished a 3 month fertility medication.

Baby dreams? Currently floating somewhere in the air like a lost Wi-Fi signal.
But I still have hope about a partner… like maybe I’ll find someone who actually matches my frequency,

..........................but I’m not holding my breath or putting my life on pause.

Until then being content with my life without a romantic partner. Eh… I’m perfectly okay living my life as a dignified, unbothered, deluxe-edition virgin — spiritually renewed, factory-settings restored, warranty still valid. 😌✨

Because self-care is not indulgence.
It is reclaiming my dignity, my time, my energy.

And dignity… matters.
I learned that the hard way.

I never felt happy in that “ugly duckling” 2018 chapter. I was met with mockery and abuse, and my dignity was treated as something negotiable. When dignity is absent, belonging disappears — and without belonging, real learning can’t take place.

Magic Happens...

Professionally, I want to give myself one more clear year in the startup space.

In 2026, I’ll invest money in formal coding training and step back into AI Delivery by the end of the year, gaining strategic experience along the way.

By the time 2026 closes, I’ll have two paths before me — continue in the startup world or move into AI Delivery.

Either way, the choice will be mine.
Intentional. Skilled. Self-defined.

And yes — getting a startup offer isn’t difficult in the city of start ups called Bengaluru.
But finding a role that pays enough to cover my monthly expenses, travel, my upskilling, and my mother’s surgery scheduled for April 2026… that’s the real weight I’m carrying.

So I wait.
I work.
I upskill.
I pray.

And I trust that somewhere, before this year ends, the right offer will find me — not out of pity, not out of pressure, but because I am worthy, capable, and ready.

I am a spinster — not broken, not waiting, not lesser.
A woman living on her own terms, walking through uncertainty with quiet courage, rebuilding her life one dignified step at a time.

People like me don’t always have the luxury of learning or getting trained for free without some hidden cost. I don’t trust the system that kept me isolated for eight long years — where did they even get the audacity to offer me a role now............... through investors’ influence?

I would rather pay for my own training, and reclaim my skills on my terms than rely on a system that never valued me.

My path will reveal itself — not all at once, but step by step, at my own pace, on my own terms.

I am a feminist, and my power lies in my freedom, my choice, and my self-respect.
One dignified step at a time.