It’s Not My Fragility That Threatens — It’s My Wholeness

Do you really know what self-doubt is?

Lets get to the roots of self-doubt !

Imagine....

A woman — alone —

and suddenly, a man confronts you.
In that instant, a doubt rises from deep within:
How will I protect myself?
I am not physically as strong as him.

That trembling moment — that quiet voice of uncertainty — is what we call self-doubt.

If we can learn self-protection, we break free from the fear the self-doubt creates.
It doesn’t mean self-doubt will never return — but once you learn to protect yourself, you stop fearing self-doubt.

I learned this lesson in Singapore, more than fifteen years ago — but its echo still shapes who I am today.

I had moved to Singapore with no job, just some savings, and a dream to start fresh. For the first month, I stayed in a small guest house near Farrer Park — sharing a room with two women, one from China and another from Sri Lanka. The Chinese woman worked at a 7/11, and the Sri Lankan did night shifts at a Hotel. I was on a Job Hunt.

Within a week, we discovered why the rent was so cheap — the building was old, marked for demolition in two years, and there were whispers of illegal activities, including prostitution, happening inside. We couldn’t leave because the advance wouldn’t be refunded.

There were nights when both the Chinese and Sri Lankan were on duty, and I’d be alone in that dimly lit room. The noises from the corridor would grow louder; sometimes someone would bang on the door. 

I remember sitting frozen, heart racing, fear gripping every part of me. 

Self-Doubt....

When you’re alone and a man suddenly confronts you, that instinctive question arises — how will I protect myself? 

That is called as Self-Doubt.

One day, I finally shared my self doubt with my room mates. They said “You must learn to protect yourself.” And one day they introduced me to some of their Chinese friends who were trained in Kung-Fu and they began teaching me basic Kung Fu for self-defense.

That’s when something shifted in me. I learnt Self-Protection ! 

Since then Men Fear me !

Even today, self-doubt still visits — because that’s what being human means. 
But what I no longer have… is the fear of self-doubt.

Do you fear me ?

My choices, my paths, my pauses — none of them are born out of self-doubt.
Because once you know how to protect yourself — truly protect yourself physically — fear loses its grip.

So yes, self-doubt may walk beside me at times, but it no longer leads me. I lead it.

I learned to stop fearing self-doubt on the quiet beaches of Singapore back in 2010.
The waves taught me resilience, and Kung Fu taught me strength — together, they helped me kill the fear of self-doubt. 

Since then - I moved with clarity, purpose, and peace.

Today i dont fear Self Doubt.

Men fear me.

Living alone for 17 years without a man is not so easy............

2013... In Japan.. Do you still believe that i fear Self-Doubt ?

“Men don’t fear your voice; they fear your version of the story.”

I chose AI adoption and commercialization over coding — not because I feared self-doubt,
but because my spirit breathes in shaping ideas, building meaning, and directing futures — in strategy, in business, and in life.  Its not that the system did not have a role for me back in 2018 ; They just wanted to keep the potential investor happy.

Value ; Recognition and legitimacy of any hard work is dependent on who the work serves and who it is validated by. Patriarchy survives on fiction — The system keeps its power through stories —

A woman’s hard work is not questioned until it stops serving men.
Once her hard work stops serving men, the narratives appear —
‘She cheats,’ ‘She’s afraid,’ ‘She can’t learn.’  Self Doubt.’  

Men were threatened when my ambitions stopped orbiting around theirs.
As long as I chased a man’s dream, I was “hardworking.”
When I pursued my own, they called it Self-Doubt ; 

My career choice unsettled them. Not because of what I do, but because it does not serve the Man.
It is not my fragility that threatens Men - It is my Wholeness !

Present - 2025 - Do you fear me ?

For the last four years, I have worked relentlessly with AI Start Ups — even through months without a salary — not because of Incompetence, but out of devotion to my purpose and passion.
I chose passion over comfort, creation over compliance.

But in a world where a woman’s labour is valued only when it benefits and serves a man, my effort became invisible, my dedication illegitimate. Men have always applauded a woman’s hardship so long as that hardship sustains them.

Men cannot comprehend effort that isn’t in their service.
They cannot respect work that isn’t for them.
And so they strip it of legitimacy.

The moment a woman endures hardship for her own passion, the moment her struggle ceases to serve a man, they rewrite her story until her independence and hard work looks like incompetence.

I have been mocked for my Independence and not for Incompetence. And yes — woman are supporting these men because they want to make me less desirable for sex and love ; Afterall nothing threatens them (both men and woman)  more than a woman like me who does not need a man for survival.

Because it is not my struggle they fear — it is my self-direction.
It is not my effort and hard work they reject — it is the fact that my effort and hard work is not in service to a Man.

There are moments when I’ve felt the weight of a quiet war —
a system that tries to make me less desirable for sex ;
not because of who I am, but because I refuse to conform.

If society considers her more desirable than me, it’s not because she’s more talented — it’s because she went through childbirth, because she served a man for years until she found another man to serve.
But that same society refuses to acknowledge my hard work and talent — simply because I choose to serve myself, not any man.

I never learned that by making another woman less desirable, I could become more desirable myself —
perhaps that’s the first true lesson of self-defense.

I can’t spend my life chasing a man’s dream just because I was born a woman, smiling through false passion, pretending my ambitions, fit into jobs I don’t even love, just to be seen as desirable.

When you stop performing for approval (e.g., being “desirable,” “perfect,” or “the office wife”), you reclaim your power.

If my worth depends on how much i can service a man ; then let me tell you — Iam not born to service any man, because I choose myself.

My father always called me A Female Super Hero........