How I met with my-self once again !

I remember my journey to Sabarimala Temple, guided by my father's wisdom. He told me, “Lord Shani represents adversity, and to truly experience Tat-Tvam-Asi, one must embrace Adversity. This path is not for the faint of heart.”

He explained that wearing black, Shani’s colour, symbolizes strength in adversity. The 41-day penance—one meal a day, cold baths before sunrise, and celibacy—was more than a ritual. It was a spiritual test, rooted in the legend of Lord Hanuman, the first to climb Sabarimala and embody Tat-Tvam-Asi.







Lord Hanuman, the first to embody the essence of "Tat Tvam Asi," to experience this profound realization at the sacred Sabarimala Temple!



That trek was not just physical; it was a journey to discover the self through adversity.

The Holy 18 steps mark the climax of the Sabarimala journey—a test of self-reliance. My father, always by my side, made it clear that when it came to these steps, I had to ascend alone.

“It’s a voyage of self-discovery,” he said, insisting I carry the ghee-filled coconut on my head without letting it fall. Though he reassured me that police nearby would help if needed, he firmly added, “You must not rely on me.”

As I climbed, the holy 18 steps  mirrored the profound truth: Tat-Tvam-Asi—you are what you seek, and the journey is yours alone.






Life has a strange way of preparing us, doesn’t it? My journey to Sabarimala wasn’t just a spiritual experience; it mirrored the trials I had been living all along.

From mid-2017 to the end of 2024, the 7.5 years of Shani tested me relentlessly—society questioning my worth, management undervaluing me because I refused to conform. Every hardship mirrored the 41 days of penance: fasting, celibacy, cold mornings, and unwavering discipline.

In those moments, I realized it wasn’t a test but a release—a shedding of everything I thought I couldn’t live without. And in that surrender, I found freedom.

Negotiating with a DEI woman who is divorced or separated might be perceived as easier by men, but men often find it challenging to negotiate with unmarried virgin. In some cases, this results in the creation of a false narrative about a skill gap, with ulterior motives that veer into personal territory. This is the experience of an unmarried virgin,  where professionalism and boundaries are sometimes tested in ways that should never be part of the equation. The only ability these men want is the ability of a  woman to sleep to the top.  My worst experience in 2018.

Adversity wasn’t something to survive; it was a teacher. Through its trials, I discovered strength and a deeper truth: the struggle itself is the path, and through it, we find ourselves. The rules were harsh, yes. But the message was clear: Only by surrendering everything I thought I was — everything the world had taught me to be — could I begin to experience the truth of who I truly was. Tat-Tvam-Asi

I have crossed the river and reunited with my true self. The 7.5 years of trials are over, and as I step into 2025, I carry only the self that stayed compassionate through, despite of false accusations helping me experience Tat-Tvam-Asi. I know that i dont have to be more clear here.



Some connections are divinely orchestrated by God, not formed through platforms like Instagram, and are meant to endure, not be broken. The only connection i carry to 2025.

For the rest of 2024, I offer gratitude to Goddess Lakshmi—for preserving my purity and blessing me in spirit and abundance. I look forward to welcome her divine presence, praying her gifts come without the cost of my dignity and character !







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