My journey of self-discovery began as I embarked on a quest to find my true identity. I've come to realize that when a DEI is embraced with respect, they are shielded from the sting of shame. However, for those like me marginalized by system's reluctance to accept, a transformation often occurs. I am now on the path to becoming a life coach, empowered by the lessons learned during my tenure in a system which treated me as a marginalized class from 2015 to 2019. This journey has not only shaped my understanding of myself but also equipped me with the tools to guide others toward their own empowerment.
MYSELF a Single Unmarried Female Virgin ; I never had a boyfriend nor I have ever kissed any man until date. In Retrospect - I received typical sexual advances from interested individuals, on one such occasion in March 2018 when i declined a Proposition there was a SHAME ATTACK on me - Calling me as UNWORTHY of LOVE,SEX,BELONGING ;
My FLAWS-IMPERFECTIONS AT WORK were being TARGETED for BLACK-MAILING !
With respect to my career I was very sure that i wanted to do something that iam PASSIONATE about where i could CONTRIBUTE. My Passions are my STRENGTH !
I was not sure about what is the personal reason behind rejecting the Man who made the offer !
I was unsure of the reasons for my PERSONAL REFUSAL - So I embarked on a quest to understand why i rejected the proposition ?
I went in search of MYSELF !
The Poem which was my SOURCE OF INSPIRATION !
I first realised Tat-Tvam-Asi !
Tat-Tvam-Asi = You are that which you seek !
In Retrospect - My maternal grandfather was a Travel Guide who took 1000's of devotees to Hike Sabarimala Temple and helped them experience Tat-Tvam-Asi. I realised that.......
Each one of us have both Masculine and Feminine Energies within us and we seek outside what is within us. As a woman ; Iam always connected to my Instinctual Feminine Energy that is aligned with the rhythm of Sunrise ; Sunset and Lunar Cycles. However i was in search of OUTER BALANCE.
Each one of us have both Masculine and Feminine Energies within us and we seek outside what is within us. As a woman ; Iam always connected to my Instinctual Feminine Energy that is aligned with the rhythm of Sunrise ; Sunset and Lunar Cycles. However i was in search of OUTER BALANCE.
What i was seeking outside was within in me ; so when i reject a Man i was rejecting an OUTER MASCULINE who was not a match with my INNER-MASCULINE.
Here are some tools which can help woman like me in Navigating Shame Attacks !
The Same System continued to BRING ME INTO THEIR FOLD !
They continued with their SHAME ATTACKS !
They FIRST used my FLAWS / IMPERFECTIONS to deem me UNWORTHY of LOVE;
Then they claimed that they'll RESPECT me only if I'll achieve PERFECTION.
They then dictated that if i do this..this..and..this I will become worthy of LOVE AND RESPECT !
SHAME was used as a BLACKMAILING TOOL to force me into an UNREALISTIC PERFECTIONISM.
No one in this world is PERFECT.
IMPERFECTIONS can only be MASKED ; and not ELIMINATED ;
SEX should be offered to MASK IMPERFECTIONS !
This continued SHAME ATTACKS compelled me to uncover my inner masculine.
In 2024 I uncovered and expressed the appearance of my Inner-Masculine !
My Inner Masculine is my FATHER !
My paternal grand mother passed away during my father's birth leading to my paternal grand father remarrying. When my father was 10 years old, my grand father who was a lawyer passes away. My father's step mother abandoned my father at his grand mother's place, transferring all his property in her name. My father not only lost his family legacy but also the legal rights to the property he rightfully owned. Upon reaching the age of 18 many of my relatives advised my father to pursue legal action against my step-grand mother to secure his property rights ; However my father chose NOT TO engage in a legal dispute with his mother and willingly relinquished his legal entitlements.
LOVE IS DIVINE !
I could not share anything but this VIDEO which apparently provided the glimpse of my Inner-Masculine.
The SHAME ATTACKS continued;
I want to answer to the SHAME ATTACK made by Skin with a Storm a highly respected DEI of the system. By the way these are the qualities of a FEMALE often exploited as TOKENS to SYMBOLISE DIVERSITY AND EQUALITY, in a MALE DOMINATED CORPORATE SETTINGS. It is called as TOKENISM.
These women are on the extreme side of PERFECTIONISM ; They NEGOTIATE everything in life ; I can understand why they negotiate for SEX ; but how can someone Negotiate LOVE ?
I dont believe in negotiation in relationships - but when you are dealing with society that is chasing perfectionism you must inform people what's on your mind and that is the only way to deal with SHAME ATTACKS.
"Every Child does not fight with their parents for LEGAL PROPERTY : My Father is a TESTAMENT to this". IS THAT CLEAR ?
"My mother is a TESTAMENT that not all wives NEGOTIATE with their husband for his LEGAL ANCESTRAL PROPERTY". CLEAR ?
My Mother and Father's DIVINE LOVE is the SOURCE OF INSPIRATION for me !
I will continue with Story Teller ; I want to understand the extent to which the society can NEGOTIATE and do SHAME ATTACKS on me ; In the process iam also DISCOVERING WHO IAM AND WHAT IS MY TRUE IDENTITY !
Story Teller !
Dont walk with the WORLD looking for EVIDENCE that you DONT BELONG - Because you are ALWAYS GOING TO FIND IT !
Dont walk with the WORLD looking for EVIDENCE that YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH - Because you are ALWAYS GOING TO FIND IT !
And ; Once I find EVIDENCE ;
I may FIT-IN for YOU....the SOCIETY ;
But I may not BELONG TO MYSELF !
And Iam not READY to BETRAY MYSELF !
Iam not READY TO NEGOTIATE who IAM with you !
With all my Flaws ; I believe that IAM WORTHY OF CONNECTION ; SEX ; BABY ; LOVE AND BELONGING.
It takes courage to stand up to the BULLIES of life and go against the NAYSAYERS whether at work or family.
My Dear Male Friends : I dont need your validations or certifications like ;
VERY WELL DESERVED ; QUALIFIED FOR SEX - LOVE - BELONGING ; BABY ;
DONT DESERVE ; NOT QUALIFIED FOR SEX - LOVE - BELONGING ; BABY ;
Keep your awards ; certifications and recognition for women who SEEK them !
I dont need a TABLE OR A SEAT which requires me to compensate with WHO IAM !
Anyone who doesn't appreciate my SELF-WORTH has no right to judge my worth for LOVE-SEX-BELONGING - BABY !
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