When you introspect and gain insights about yourself, its crucial to document those thoughts immediately, or else the flow may be LOST !
Hence Iam posting early this week instead of waiting for weekend !
This week's Topic is : How To Defeat Shame Attack !
I feel like I have already become a LIFE COACH - which i believe is the PURPOSE OF MY LIFE !
A DEI who is treated with RESPECT will not have such life experiences ; being treated BADLY therefore then becomes a BLESSING !
Today we will explore how to defeat SHAME ATTACK AND BECOME AUTHENTIC !
Did anyone tried to ATTACK you claiming that you are FLAWED and not worthy of LOVE AND BELONGING ? Let me tell you they are not worthy of your CONNECTION.
Did anyone tried to ATTACK you claiming that you are FLAWED and not worthy of LOVE AND BELONGING ? Let me tell you they are not worthy of your CONNECTION.
How to defeat SHAME ATTACK ?
Here is a beautiful video from Brene Brown !
It happened towards the end of 2017 !
I was attracted to a man and as a woman naturally i desired to have a Baby ; Unfortunately someone else who has been stalking me on my blog who i refer to as Testing Perfectionist SHAMED me accusing me of wanting a Baby only for Financial Gain !
I NAVIGATED THE SHAME ; The SHAME ATTACK did not work on me :
SHAME = IAM NOT ENOUGH :
I refused to internalize the message that IAM NOT ENOUGH !
I chose to IGNORE his words because i had no interest in him anyways.
I was a TOP MOST PERFORMER at work and everybody LOVED ME !
But as usual like everybody i too had IMPERFECTIONS !
In Mar 2018 the same perfectionist now targeted my IMPERECTIONS at work to FIT ME IN !
He attempted to prove that Iam Not Worthy of Love ; Sex ; Belonging.
Surviving SHAME requires more COURAGE and ability to accept and express your FLAWS - IMPERFECTIONS !
It takes courage to stand up to the BULLIES of life and go against the NAYSAYERS whether at work or family.
Since 2018, that perfectionist has been relentlessly trying to pursue me with various offers.
Why would some one want to hire a person who according to them supposedly has NO SKILLS ?
Think About It !
True belonging and self-worth are not GOODS ; We dont negotiate our SELF-WORTH with the world.
I can negotiate a CONTRACT with you ;
I can negotiate a TOPIC with you ;
Iam not going to Negotiate my SELF-WORTH with you !
Iam not a PERFECTIONIST and I have never been chasing PERFECTIONISM.
Recently I unconsciously expressed my desire for a Baby once again, and society responded with laughter to SHAME me.
SHAME = IAM NOT WORTHY OF A BABY OR LOVE OR BELONGING.
They will use my FLAWS - IMPERFECTIONS to deem me UNWORTHY of HAVING A BABY ;
Then they will claim that they'll support me with a Baby if I'll achieve PERFECTION.
They will then dictate that if i do this..this..and..this I will become worthy of LOVE AND BABY !
SHAME becomes a BLACKMAILING TOOL to force people into an UNREALISTIC PERFECTIONISM, because no one in this world is PERFECT.
IMPERFECTIONS can only be MASKED ; and not ELIMINATED ;
SEX should be offered to MASK IMPERFECTIONS !
MY CRAZY ASS EMOTIONS ARE NOT CHOOSING FOR ME !
My Father was an Orphan and he had 5 children and Iam the third !
I have survived the BULLIES who kept me small through SHAME ATTACK.
I want to answer to the SHAME ATTACK that i encountered !
My paternal grand mother passed away during my father's birth leading to my paternal grand father remarrying. When my father was 10 years old, my grand father who was a lawyer passes away. My father's step mother abandoned my father at his grand mother's place, transferring all his property in her name. My father not only lost his family legacy but also the legal rights to the property he rightfully owned. Upon reaching the age of 18 many of my relatives advised my father to pursue legal action against my step-grand mother to secure his property rights ; However my father chose NOT TO engage in a legal dispute with his mother and willingly relinquished his legal entitlements.
LOVE IS DIVINE !
I dont believe in negotiation in relationships - but when you are dealing with society that is chasing perfectionism you must inform people what's on your mind and that is the only way to deal with shame.
SHAME ATTACKS - A tool that is used by every perfectionist at work or in relationships !
If you can read in between the lines you will realise that even father dont have to worry about raising his 3rd child ! Story Teller ! This is the answer ! Meaning the Mother alone can take care of the child.
My Father was an Orphan !
The TIDES are GONE !
Iam sure by now you all are capable of seeing me NAKED ?
Can you see me ?
How can you SHAME a person who is ALREADY NAKED !
Dont walk with the WORLD looking for EVIDENCE that you DONT BELONG - Because you are ALWAYS GOING TO FIND IT !
Dont walk with the WORLD looking for EVIDENCE that YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH - Because you are ALWAYS GOING TO FIND IT !
And ; Once I find EVIDENCE ;
I may FIT-IN for YOU....the SOCIETY ;
But I may not BELONG TO MYSELF !
And Iam not READY to BETRAY MYSELF !
More than 50 % of women in IT Industry in India wear the MASK OF PERFECTION !
They pretend that everything is going GREAT to cover up their IMPERFECTION ;
ASS KISSING and some times SEX is used as a tool to cover up IMPERFECTION !
With all my Flaws ; I believe that IAM WORTHY OF CONNECTION ; SEX ; BABY ; LOVE AND BELONGING.
My Dear Male Friends : I dont need your validations or certifications like ;
VERY WELL DESERVED ; QUALIFIED FOR SEX - LOVE - BELONGING ; BABY ;
DONT DESERVE ; NOT QUALIFIED FOR SEX - LOVE - BELONGING ; BABY ;
Keep your awards ; certifications and recognition for women who SEEK them !
Anyone who doesn't appreciate my SELF-WORTH has no right to judge my worth for LOVE-SEX-BELONGING - BABY !
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Thanks for all these SHAME ATTACKS !
Iam on the way towards becoming a LIFE-COACH !
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