In pursuit of my true self !

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Do you know i keep following my blog again and again ;
Do you know i keep reading my own blog-posts again and again ;
I want to understand WHO AM I ?
Why did i start writing at the age of 8 ? 
Did the search for my true self began at the age of 8 ?

I still have preserved the first certificate that i received from CHELPARK for my writing skills when i was still in primary school !
I started writing with CHELPARK PEN !



When i was not in a position to accept the predatory behavior of certain people I WENT IN SEARCH OF MYSELF.





I consciously did not go after dance ! 
It came to me when i was SEARCHING FOR MYSELF !
Everybody made fun of me for pursuing Bharatanatyam ignoring my career and job !
I wanted to know and find answers for - 
WHY IAM LIKE THIS ?
WHAT IS CALLING OUT TO ME ?
WHAT IAM MEANT TO BE ? 

I went back to education and completed MA - ECONOMICS my second Post Graduation in 2020 after my MBA which i completed years ago !
On Sept 27 2021 i completed my Practical exams in Bharatanatayam from Annamalai University ; The course for which i enrolled myself in Jan 2019.

Natya Veda is the concise instruction setting forth all the events of one's life.
My Intuition told me that i can find my answers in Natya Veda.

Natya Veda is the 5th Veda that was created by Lord Brahma borrowing concepts from the first 4 Vedas.





Bharatanatyam does not serve its purpose if it does not have the capacity to help you realize that your body is a PANCHABHOOTAM. 
I first experienced Panchabhootam.
My bodily identity is that "IAM MADE OF PANCHABHOOTAM !"




MY SEARCH IN PURSUIT OF MY TRUE SELF CONTINUED...
I was not satisfied with BODILY IDENTITY.
I wanted to FIND MY MIND !

Among the Panchaboota stalams "Thillai Natarajar" temple represents SPACE / MIND !




Dancing for 50 years ; building muscle memory and letting your body dance unconsciously to the music is not the purpose of Natya Veda.
"Thiruchitrambalam"  is a sacred spiritual utterance which largely has been uttered entirely in the Thillai Chidambaram Natarajar Temple located in Tamil Nadu.
"Thiruchitrambalam" = "Hall of Consciousness".

Thiru = Divine
Chit = The very functioning of the Conscious and the Unconscious - MIND !
 Ambalam = Space / Sky / Stage / Space between the 2 Eye Brows

I myself was not aware of the fact that i was unconsciously pursuing BRAHMACHARYA / CELIBACY for all these years.
The BEST and WORST of a man is in the UNCONSCIOUS and not in the PROJECTED IMAGE OF THE CONSCIOUS.

Your UNCONSCIOUS will tell you WHO YOU ARE !
Your UNCONSCIOUS will help you FIND YOURSELF !
I was in deep pain as nobody around me could UNDERSTAND ME !
I was waiting for an ANGEL to come forward who will UNDERSTAND ME !

THE SEARCH IS OVER !



Tat-Tvam-Asi written on the sanctum of Sabarimala Temple !
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sabarimala

I met with that ANGEL and it is MYSELF !
I FOUND MYSELF ! 

I HAVE ARRIVED AT TAT-TVAM-ASI BECAUSE I UNDERSTOOD MYSELF !
IT IS ONLY ME WHO CAN UNDERSTAND MYSELF - IAM MY OWN ANGEL.
Whatever i know about myself is nothing compared to what i will eventually know if i continue this JOURNEY - "IN PURSUIT OF MY TRUE SELF".





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