After resting the whole day ,I was sitting alone in my balcony to capture some sunlight in the evening.
With such less space iam unable to bring in that garden spirit in my life...i can hardly keep one pot in my balcony.
I wanted a dramatic life with grass on top of the balcony but not possible in a place like Tokyo.
I could hear the birds singing .
The sunlight was red in colour and the sun rays were very sharp
It was a moment of peace ...casting my gaze across the road
The dancing dark clouds no longer exists , there was a balance between summer heat and winter cold,
and this is my first spring of my life !
Its only the vibrant sun that i can see and feel!And everywhere there are beautiful flowers bloomed , so much beautiful.
Suddenly i heard a noise..and i decided to throw my I-Phone into my room.
I saw my neighbour for the first time , a old lady about 55 years old.
she was in her balcony too ....she smiled at me and even i looked at her and smiled.
Her every gesture had a story of her own.I stared at her for sometime.So now i know if i hear someone coughing so loudly in the mid-night its her.
I then saw 3 human beings on one bi-cycle on the road, yes a lady riding a bicycle with 2 kids,
the kids were packed in beautiful baskets on the handle bar of the bi-cycle, bike culture is very common in Japan..
Yes i then saw a gentle men playing with his daughter and son below the apartment .The girl fell down while playing and the man lent his hand to her ,
she got up just like the way a child is pulled away from a swing, now i started to think about my dad , how he picked me up when i fell down.
How he advised me when i was in trouble....
I then saw a suited business men riding bike ,yes long working hours and working on Saturdays is what might be making them to jump in front of the train and die...suicide in Japan is a national issue , iam assuming that its work related stress thats bringing a mental breakdown...they are so much into work 24/7.
Railway suicide is the highest in Japan.
Where do these people who commit suicide go? heaven or hell ? do they become ghost and still live on earth. Confusion.
When i was a kid i was very curious to learn the difference between hell and heaven...we were in Kerala on a holiday..away from the city Bangalore..
I ran to my father when he was doing his night prayer and asked him ..
Acha (father) where do people who commit suicide go ! Heaven or Hell !
He told me it is not necessary that the people who commit suicide go to hell , they might still go to heaven!
So i decided to die to end this confusion...i simply wanted to solve my question.
Hanging was out of fashion , there were hardly any railway tracks... there was a pond in front of the house , and i thought i will jump into the pond and die.
I can take bath and die do two different things at a time .So i jumped into the pond .
Guess what ..I heard a loud noise and i turned around to see a fish , the fish had a very big eyes and it was evil...
I got scared and ran out and reached home a few yards away..with water lilies on my head when Acha asked me what happened i told him i fell down in the pond .
My Brain avoided me from speaking the truth .
I decided to postpone my death plan . I still dont understand where do the people who commit suicide go ?
Do they go to Hell or Heaven!
Good Night!
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